Hello everyone. This year just passed. Looking back this year was bittersweet for me. 2018 opened before me some opportunities and also put me through some very complicated choices. I learnt quite a few lessons. I had to pay some price for them though. One of them is to choose my own happiness over all the sufferings i’m going through, to learn to love myself. It sounds small, rather simple, quite insignificant at a time yet pretty complex and truly effective. Well it is not that we do not know but in the sea called Life and compromise we forget it frequently don’t we?
I thank BTS for reminding me that to me myself is special. If I can not love myself I can not love others properly. To be honest BTS is the best something that happened to me in last five years. I remember I was suffering from depression two years ago and I stopped talking to people totally. However I rediscovered them back then and I didn’t let go. They have become my inspiration. Their speech in UN was the ultimate call for me to come out of my shell and speak about myself, my opinion, my agenda.
Also I started working a little bit. I started to write, edit and ghostwrite and also earned some money. It is very small amount but I cherish it. I cherish the experience and fun I had.
But there are negatives too. My rhinitis attack was so bad that half of the time I was on medication. I could not participate on NaNoWriMo. My semester was not satisfactory enough for me. My viva exam went horrible. Also I lost my Goodreads reading challenge. But that is life. I have learnt from these too. I have learnt to accept the failure and walk ahead with new vigour and confidence.
This year will be my last semester in university. How fast the two years flew! This year did I make any resolution? Of course I did. Will I be able to meet my goals? Well I will try my best. One of the goal is to be more level-headed. I have a short temper and I’m trying hard to be more considerate and more calm. Music is what I am leaning to these days more and more. They have such great healing capabilities! I used to love music but I just rediscovered about them more. This year was full of discoveries for me. Also I am trying to be more organized.
So ultimately with all the hurdles 2018 was good. In fact profit is more than loss. I gained some new friends, I learnt some new things. Did it change me? Yes. I feel more confident in my approach. My change is what I believe for good. I also found a part of me that was hidden. Two girls from my most favourite girl group re-debuted and another member will debut in January.
The coming year will also be full of hardships. It is bound to happen but I will not give up until I emerge victorious. Hardships just test us our strength, our willpower, our resilience.
“Ocean, desert and the world. Everything, same thing. Different name. I see ocean, I see desert, I see the world. Everything, same thing. Different name. It’s life again…..
…….Where there is hope, there is always despair…….
…….We need to be in despair, for all our hardships……”
_”Sea” (BTS-Love Yourself: HER)
Happy New Year Everyone